Is four months of dating a long time
My chest immediately tightened, I felt panicky and sweaty, my throat closed up and it felt like someone was stabbing me in the pancreas. A gateway to the wounded place I thought I had left far behind.The next day I confessed to my mother how this unassuming street corner had brought forth all these bewildering feelings that I thought had been resolved. There’s nothing wrong with missing someone you loved.” And she was right. Not a cheater or a liar or someone who played games with my emotions.And from that day forward I always giggled when I passed that particular block.Even though he lived on the other side of the country, we both referred to it as “our corner.” On his next visit to New York, I surprised him by bringing him there and saying “Ta-da! ” His face lit up and I don’t know that I’ll ever forget the way he looked at me while he exclaimed, “It’s our place!
” But at that moment approaching this block, I reflexively clutched my new guy’s hand into an uncomfortable grip. And yet just passing two ordinary intersecting streets had reduced me to what felt like a full-fledged anxiety attack.“There’s always a place in your heart to hold the good memories but you can’t let it stop you from moving forward.” This was what my mother said to me earlier this year when I found myself four months post break-up suddenly emotional over what seemed to be a totally innocuous reminder of my ex-boyfriend. When, all of a sudden, I realized we were strolling hand in hand right towards a particular block in New York City that had been especially meaningful for me and my ex-boyfriend. A sweet and silly conversation that had me laughing out loud as I waited to cross the street. The date when you’re really starting to feel like you’re connecting with a new person and even just walking down the street together feels kind of exciting. No notable landmark unless you count a bunch of ugly scaffolding. The location of a phone conversation my ex and I once had.I may not even have thought of this as a problem if (hypothetically) we live together.But when I'm alone, I think about us often and focus on the big picture, and rather unfortunately, I realized that some crucial elements from this relationship are missing.